


Insatiable monkey

by DawnAtSky



Category: Dan Vs.
Genre: "kids" show characters cursing, A lot - Freeform, M/M, Okay that's it that's the fic, also fricking, buddyshipping - Freeform, sexoholic Chris, so there's that., they frick, uploaded for the bae, uvu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-22 04:07:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2493824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DawnAtSky/pseuds/DawnAtSky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things got a little weird after he got married, not gonna lie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insatiable monkey

Despite all the food, and lactose-free cookies, and everything else in his shitty apartment mysteriously vanishing every time Chris decides to sporadically accept your needs for company, Dan just couldn't ever seem to satiate this pudgy asshole's insatiable hunger. Every time they'd been to this point, it was always Chris. 

Now, not being too particular to either sex, there was, well, kind of a draw, Chris had, back in highschool. Long story short, there was definitely some experimental sex at some point in that hellhole of a time. It was awkward and horribly planned, and completely stopped after graduation, when he met Elise by chance, but it was there. They may or may not have been doing a lot of that back then, so when he approached you about all that bullshit a few months ago, it wasn't all that surprising. 

Chris is a sexaholic. And a foodaholic, fucking fatass. He bitches and complains when Elise refuses him sex, and after a short time, they must have worked something out involving you. This is NATURALLY why Chris has you in his lap, dragging his blunt gross teeth across your neck, hands down your pants. It always starts the same, him trying to act sooo fucking amazing, until you smack him one, and he takes that as a cue to drop as much dirtytalk on your naive little ears until he can see boner city. A little making out, a little groping, and here you are, grunting and panting as Chris is jerking you off with one hand, the other hands getting as much space ready of your asshole for his admittedly well-endowed cock. 

“FUCK! Damnit could you GO a little slower, my asshole is bound to have even more tears than usual if you don't learn to hold your horses, Chris!”

“Sorry! I'll try to go slower, but it's not gonna be even better for either of us then, right?

“Seriously, is this how you please your own damn wife? You should be ahsHAMED of yourself for not paying more attention to Eli-eeaah!” Pleasure spikes all up your spine, and t feel like the three fingers he's been working into your are pressing into the sweet spot. He grins and stares up at you as your argument is instantly invalidated, whatever you were meaning to say lost as he twists his hand to the front, almost twisting around your prostate so wonderfully. You're left in shambles, even the littlest of stimulation there making you cry out, tighten your fingers in his shirt, the back of his hair. 

“See? Better, right?” 

“Mmn...” 

You can hear Mr. Mumbles outside, meowing, laying down by the door for entrance. You just don't like being so indecent in front of the lady, so you try to ignore her beckoning purr, the lovely lonely call of a beautiful kitty cat. And more on Chris's talking, and his fingering getting just a little bit better. Bout fucking TIME!

“You okay now? I'm gonna go on. I'll go slow Dan, don't worry.” 

He reassures you like he needs to, like getting fucked up that ass isn't something you're (metaphorically) used to. You mumbled something about that under your breath, feeling the soggy head of his dick against your-- wait. 

“A condom?? Chis, what the hell?” You burst out with, stopping his advances as quickly as you can. “Why did you even feel the need, I'M not carrying anything. And unlike Elise, I won't be getting PREGNANT from a little anal!”

“It's a good habit to have Dan, safe sex is ALWAYS the right way to go!”

“NO it isn't! It's weird as hell and they always get stuck someplace or another. Take it off!”

“But Dan--”

“OFF!” 

He didn't need to be told twice. But yet, you still did. He wasn't 100% pleased, but as soon as your felt his nice hot dick pull you apart, the thick long shaft being pushed in hard, his breath going ragged. This is the part you hate. Yeah, getting his dick squeezed up is NICE, but the least he could to is use his hand for something more useful. Like jerking you a little. You shouldn't complain, once this wears off all you'll feel is white hot pleasure, something more amazing than you'd ever thought sex could give. 

Unlike what people may think, you can wait. 

“Oh, god...” you hear Chris mumble, hiding his face in your hair like he's somehow embarrassed by all this. He knows better than you, just how tight you get after so long apart. But while it is uncomfortable and staring to hurt, his dick feels amazingly good in you. Nice, and hard, and--

“Aah... Fuck, there it is.” You moan out, feeling his cock prod at your prostate. Fucking amazing. 

“Mmmh, yeah, definitely where it is.” Chris almost teases, pulling out just slow enough for you to feel the drag. You should've expected when he gripped your hips hard, thrusting right back in, right back to the best place, with no warning or any hot words to signal them. There's almost tears in your eyes, your eye clench closed and you forget how little you care for your neighbors, Chris's name bouncing off the walls in your ecstasy. He won't hold back, not when you're both at his point. 

Builds you up, then tears you down, fucking jerk. 

His pacing's hard, fast, deep in your ass. Brutal and unforgiving, so weird considering it's Chris, but you're loving every second of it, even when he tries to bend your around in different positions. He settles on keeping your legs close, bending you nearly in half just so he can ram his cock in you, and your nails scratch and claw at the mattress. You're so going to blow soon, and you can feel his cock throbbing, you know he is. 

You keep chanting his name like it's the best fucking name ever, keep ordering him to go faster, you finally gain half a brain to reach down and grip your own dick hard, jerking yourself off while Chris moans out and finally, FINALLY, cums deep inside you, eyes shut and his entire face lit up, quickly joined by yourself when cum splatters up all over your legs, your chest, almost to your face, nice. 

Cleanup takes longer than you'd like. (Cleanup used very vaguely. It basically just means you wipe shit off with a sock and toss it away, but Chris takes over your shower for himself, so you just get changed into a new outfit and take up the time apologizing to Mr. Mumbles for denying her her rights to being pet and fed. 

You and Chris don't really say much after everything, there isn't a lot to say, really. He's still your (best) sidekick, and he's still married to Elise. If everything goes well, he'll be well on his way back to her any moment no--

“Hey Dan, I'm hunrgy.” 

Damnit.


End file.
